Driving home tonight… I suddenly remembered why I decided to embark on this journey of putting together Lupus Care Pack and trying to give it away for my fellow lupies.
I remembered one night I was lying in bed in the dark… my body was so exhausted to the bone. My heart felt so weak, to the point where I could not manage to move my body around so much before I get so out of breath… I felt extremely lonely and isolated, lying in bed that night.
And that was not the first time I have felt the isolation. I was mourning from the loss of my strength, independence and health. I was feeling extremely guilty for not being able to help my mom or my sister; both of whom have been working so hard, so tirelessly, to maintain their own lives as well as taking care of me; cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, ironing, driving….. I felt so stuck in the dungeon, in the abyss, everything was pitch black for me.
I wanted to do more, but my body wouldn’t allow me to. I felt like a 28 years old girl in 90 years old body…
But then, I started looking back… a few months back, when I was just beginning to recover from my most serious flare-ups yet; a month of fever, migraines, mouth sores, alopecia, rashes all over my body including flaky open wounds on my nose, forehead and my leg… I looked back and realised that I have actually grown stronger in the last few months. And I have found a few things that has really brought comfort when I am feeling really really down in the ditch.
And so, I promised myself…
Maybe, I could be that person that I wish was there for me, telling me that they understand what I am going through, that I am not so alone in this battle, that there are many many things we can still do to make things better; to make ourselves stronger, even when we have lupus…
So, I hope, even if the care pack only made a difference to ONE lupus patient, the moment she uses any one of the items… that is all I wanted to share with her.
One moment of hope.
One moment of understanding.
One moment of warmth.
One moment knowing that you are NOT fighting this alone.
I hope the Lupus Care Pack has helped you in some way.
If you live in Australia, you are still able to request one by sending your address to: firstname.lastname@example.org